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), but I will say that Nate didn’t give me much to work with in order to defend his intellect. In the relatively limited sea of fish that is junior high, the much older Nate was automatically *In my defense, I chose Richard over Johnny (Depp) for strategic reasons.

I figured when I inevitably ran into Richard (at the mall?

Just because you’re young and still figuring yourself out doesn’t mean it will magically change one day.

Though now, if I ran into either, I’d just…keep walking. Biceps were unheard of in 8th grade, they simply did not exist …or at least not on anyone besides the gym teacher (that woman was fucking terrifying). Neam, our history teacher, snapped at Nate, “Where’s your textbook?!?It’s not that you’re not attractive, intelligent, interesting, fun to hang out with or fun to sleep with. Your inner most workings are attracted to the douche before you pick up on it 3, 4 or 5 dates in.For whatever reasons you have this disease (Daddy issues, abandonment, previous relationship baggage or all of the above), you must do everything that you can to combat it or you will find yourself suffering from this ailment for the rest of your life.Even if you’re married, it doesn’t mean that you are safe from the douchebag. I used to date douchebags with impressive velocity.Every single one of them broke up with me and I was always left feeling like a small piece of me died.

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